Chapter 32.2 - Wake up from a Long Dream (2)
Even though being stood up by both parties actually made things easier to manage, Luo Zhi still felt an emptiness inside. She wandered around her dorm room five or six times before finally settling down. She took off her going-out clothes, changed into a casual plaid shirt, sweatpants, and cotton slippers, then sat down at her desk and opened her IELTS vocabulary book.
She ended up watching a few episodes of the American TV series LOST on her laptop. When she checked the time and saw it was 5:20, she threw on a knitted cardigan and headed to the third dining hall for some freshly made hot flatbreads.
Just as she was sitting down with her tray, she saw Zhang Mingrui approaching from a distance. She smiled and waved, pointing to the seat across from her. Zhang Mingrui placed his tray on the table and looked at her food. “You really… eat these flatbreads every night?”
“They’re pretty good. I eat them several times a week. But who knows — maybe one day I’ll suddenly get sick of them.”
“Well, if that day comes, make sure to tell me.”
“Why?”
“No reason,” Zhang Mingrui lowered his head and drank his porridge seriously.
“By the way, for yesterday’s Law class — you and Sheng Huainan both skipped. Don’t tell me you were out on a date?”
Luo Zhi looked up, considering whether or not to tell the truth, when her phone suddenly rang. She almost wanted to write a song praising China Unicom — every time she was in a socially awkward moment, her phone would ring like a considerate TV drama plot twist.
It was her mom. Luo Zhi bit into her hot flatbread while bickering seriously with her mother over the phone. By the time she finally hung up, Zhang Mingrui had already finished eating.
“You eat that fast?” Luo Zhi asked, surprised.
“You talk that slow, more like.”
Feeling a bit guilty — after all, leaving someone hanging while you’re on a long call isn’t exactly polite — she quickly took a few big bites of her flatbread and shoved some spinach into her mouth to show sincerity. Zhang Mingrui frowned and pressed down on her chopsticks. “Okay, okay, don’t choke yourself.”
Luo Zhi ate more slowly for a while, then noticed that the person across from her was leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head, staring at her without blinking. She was puzzled.
“You… didn’t eat enough?”
“You trying to get rid of me?” He gave her an indignant glare.
“No, no…” She waved her hands, but Zhang Mingrui had already stacked his plates and stood up.
“Alright, alright, I’m going. I still need to grab takeout for our dorm leader and Sheng Huainan — those two pigs.”
Luo Zhi’s hand, which had reached out to stop him, froze in midair.
“Why didn’t he come out to eat himself?” she asked slowly.
“Who knows? He’s been acting weird since this morning — holed up in the dorm playing World of Warcraft all day. Not even worried about going blind. Our dorm leader’s even more extreme — watched Twin Dragons of the Tang Dynasty in bed all day. For lunch, I brought him a jianbing guozi. I’m telling you, that’s the downside of long-distance relationships. Without girlfriends hovering around every day, they all turn into hermits…”
Zhang Mingrui kept talking, but Luo Zhi couldn’t hear any of it anymore. She numbly bit into her flatbread and numbly said goodbye to him.
Didn’t he say he had something to do?
A bloated, dull pain spread in her chest. It wasn’t even full-blown sadness — more like something suspended in midair. She messily cleared her tray and went back to the dorm, put on her headphones, and forced herself to keep watching the American show.
That night, there was no goodnight text. She wanted to ask what was wrong, really wanted to — but after a moment of hesitation, she simply turned off her phone.
On Monday morning, classes resumed as usual. In her world, Sheng Huainan slowly faded away once more. She wanted to reach out and hold onto something, but it was in vain. All she had left were his text messages — yet no matter how she thought about it, she couldn’t figure out a way to start one.
She had thought they were already very close, but had to admit: if he wanted to get close to her, it was easy — he could just walk up and get her smile in return. But if she wanted to catch up to him, to turn him around and face her — that was incredibly hard.
She hadn’t had the courage to do it all these years, and still didn’t now.
There was a sense of distance stretched out before her. When the sweet haze of the past few days cleared, she could see it plainly — he was still far away, and all she had was the view of his back
.
